Cannabis questions and stories you’d never dare own up to

There is much to learn from cannabis
There is much to learn from cannabis

Let’s face it. All of us have got a silly part of us. Yes, silly. That part inside that leads us down the garden path, resulting in nonsensical statements or questions that make plenty of people’s hair stand on end and eyes roll. A few gems such as “Have we got two livers or two kidneys”? Where’s our brain’s grey matter? Which came first, the First or Second World War? Do cows drink milk?” Isn’t it fascinating?

These are questions I’ve really heard; I swear I’m not making them up. Browsing online, I read a few howlers such as “Is it true drinking petrol is good for your heart?” I have coeliac disease, where can I get gluten-free cocaine? In which zoo can I see a velociraptor? Can I teach cats to speak? Did the Beatles copy Justin Bieber’s hairstyle?” And we could go on all day…or days, even! Months, weeks, years!

Such are the desperate questions of novice growers

The fact is that, what I’m telling you IS REAL, as real as life itself; and thus things won’t be any different with cannabis. We will today go through some of the experiences of people from the Sensi Seeds team as well as those outside it, who’ve had to deal with surreal questions. I hope that, besides having a chuckle, you’ll learn what you should and should NOT ask when talking to a cannabis enthusiast. Here‘s a choice selection.

Can I smoke cannabis outdoors from seeds I planted indoors?

This is, without doubt, one of my favourites. Let’s take it one step at a time, shall we? While all types of cannabis can be grown indoors, indoor varieties of cannabis are especially recommended for growing indoors. That’s how it works. In fact, growing it indoors means you’re sure to have a stable environment with no surprises, since you’re not reliant on external weather and climate conditions. Growing it is one thing…but where do you smoke it? For the love of God, cannabis, whether it’s an indoor or outdoor variety, from Beijing or Mars, can be smoked wherever you feel like smoking it! Of course cannabis from seeds you planted indoors can be smoked outdoors and, once again (provided it’s legal) you can smoke it WHEREVER YOU WANT.

Can I grow cannabis in a shoe box and using a torch?

Whoever asked this question, I’d like to ask them: where the hell are you?? Where do you live?? Did someone kidnap you? If not, I can’t fathom it…You could be part of an Antarctic expedition that got lost and all you’ve got is a handful of cannabis seeds in your pocket. Otherwise, you could be running away from the Lanisters, in which case you have my every respect and I see why you’d want to grow cannabis this way. BUT, if you don’t find yourself in any of the above situations…why do you want to grow your sends in a shoe box under torchlight? Is this some sort of a ritual? Friends, there are many paths to growing: indoors, outdoors, in greenhouses, guerrilla growing…We even have the option of micro-growing! Don’t make things difficult for yourself…

Can I eat or smoke the seeds themselves to get a high?

You can indeed eat or smoke the seeds themselves. What you won’t get is a high. At the most, you’ll hallucinate a bit from stomach ache, nothing more. Deep down, I find this question endearing since it brings back those wonderful years when we used to make joints out of oregano, basil, thyme, parsley and banana peel, endlessly laughing at the thought we were really “getting a high”.

 Do you sell seeds to grow hash?

Dear friends, if there were seeds for growing hash straight out of the ground the world will not be how we know it. Trust me.

 Can I boil my seeds?

This question has been asked repeatedly, since novice growers think this is a quick method for getting seeds to sprout or “break out”, which is what happens when they germinate. I’m sorry to inform you that the only thing you’ll get when boiling seeds is dirty water or a weird kind of soup. The seeds will not sprout. All that will happen is they’ll become softer…And once again, remember: only mussels open when you boil them.

Cannabis confessions that keep you awake at night

In addition to the questions, Sensei Seeds staff have also had “confessions”. What follows is just a taster of these…

Confusing cannabis with nettles

Some poor souls confused cannabis with nettles and grew them in a growing room, for weeks on end, believing they were in fact cannabis plants. At this stage, I don’t know which is worse: the time (and resources) they’ve wasted tending to the plant in question or their disappointment and profound sadness when told that that “thing” won’t yield them harvest hoped for.

Smoking mouldy cannabis

You need to be careful with this sort of thing since it’s your health that’s at stake here! Some people might well think nothing will happen, since you’re hardly going to eat mouldy cannabis like were mouldy cheese, but watch out! It amounts to the same thing or worse. In fact, people have smoked mould-ridden weed which meant the mould got into their lungs and started growing there. Scary stuff, isn’t it? So if you don’t want this to happen to you and nasty mouldy growing happily in any part of your body, throw that cannabis away without giving it a second thought. Yes, it’s a shame having to throw away something you love, but everything in life revolves around decisions, so make sure you make the right ones!

Calling the police because some stole your (illegal) cannabis plants and ending up getting arrested as a result

Let’s take a closer look. I totally understand the frustration and anger. I mean, you avoid getting into trouble with the law, the police and your prying neighbours’ judgemental looks… and they steal your plants! Take a deep breath, take a walk around the neighbourhood and see if you can catch the thief, ask furtively if anyone’s seen anything suspicious, but for God’s sake, DO NOT CALL THE POLICE! And all the more so if your plants are, so to speak, “outside the law”. Let it go my friend and buy other seeds. Life’s not a picnic.

Decorating your living room with cannabis because you think they are flowers

I love this one! A classic, if ever there was one. Picture a sweet old lady growing cannabis in her little garden, tending to her plant (I can only assume she’s fascinated by its fragrance) and, finally, putting it into a cute vase and decorating her pretty living room with it. Charming.

Growing cannabis plants that were hidden for fifty years under the carpet and getting a good harvest from it

However surprising some may seem, certain stories have had a gloriously happy ending. It can just be down to luck or mere coincidence but come what may, this only goes to show cannabis is an amazing plant with unbeatable power and resistance!

Feel free to share your experiences and comment on this article. We’re bound to publish a second part. What’s clear is that when it comes to cannabis, it’s hard to think with your head rather than your heart. And these improbable stories about our favourite plant proves this!

The post Cannabis questions and stories you’d never dare own up to appeared first on Sensi Seeds Blog.

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